Bush Has Photos of Pelosi

By David Swanson

Bush has photos of Pelosi doing… WHAT?

Here’s the situation Nancy Pelosi finds herself in. A full 54% of Americans and 76% of Democrats want Dick Cheney impeached. Cheney’s 13% favorability makes him the least popular president or vice president ever. The Washington Post reports that Republicans are turning against Cheney. By failing to act, the Democratic Congress has made itself less popular than Bush. Were the Congress to impeach Cheney and the Senate to acquit him, the Democrats would win a significant majority in the Senate because the public would toss some Republicans who voted for Cheney out on their asses. So, the Democrats would not just do the right thing for the future of our nation but achieve electoral victories by moving on impeachment, whether they manage to succeed with it or not. There’s no known downside to trying.

Could there be an unknown downside? Could there be a reason we don’t know about to explain Pelosi’s unconstitutional position that Congress will not impeach no matter what? Couldn’t Pelosi point out at least that she was only talking about Bush? Couldn’t she allow justice to run its course for Cheney?

Could it be that Bush and Cheney have photos of Nancy Pelosi doing something she wouldn’t want us to see?

I tend to doubt it. I think Pelosi actually believes that the way to win elections is to spit in the faces of three-quarters of your voters, and that elections matter more than upholding the rule of law. But it’s important to investigate all possibilities.

Now, when the Bush Administration had complete control of a Senate office building following the anthrax incident, it could only have found dirt on Pelosi that at least one Senator also possessed. And which Senator has most frequently bellowed about how he was about to stand up to Bush and Cheney and then shrunk away and done the opposite?

Arlen Specter seems like exactly Nancy Pelosi’s type. He straddles the aisle, tries to please everyone, ends up pissing everyone off, and accomplishes nothing in the end. So far be it from me to suggest anything inappropriate may have occurred, but the circumstantial evidence certainly points in the direction of a political romance.

Still, this being Washington, the probability always has to be that the sexual secrets are homosexual secrets. So probably it’s a woman we should be looking for. And, while I would never condone such speculation, I would be remiss if I did not make note here that the possibilities of both animals and aliens have been raised, I think more out of frustration with Pelosi’s actions in Congress than on the basis of any evidence.

(Nancy, are you beginning to get the idea that what we can image about you is worse than whatever is holding you back on impeachment?)

And, of course, no Senator need be involved in whatever scandalous thing Pelosi has done. When Bush tossed aside the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, it wasn’t in order to spy on terrorists more quickly than the law allowed, since the law allowed retroactive warrants and nothing is faster than that. It was clearly to do what the law was put in place to prevent: spy on political opponents. Bush almost certainly knows something of Pelosi’s telephone, Email, and snail mail communications. Congressional Email is run by Lockheed Martin for godsake. Such communications could contain anything.

Maybe there’s some financial scandal waiting in the wings to scandalize us. You don’t come to lead a political party in the age of the almighty dollar without touching a lot of dirty money. Maybe there’s some embarrassing comment. Maybe Pelosi told her closest friend of the phone some words she wouldn’t want known, like:

“For people who seriously believe in God and all that crap…”
“If we keep the war going till ’08…”
“Oh, it’s that bitch Hillary again…”

And there’s the possibility, of course, that the Karl Rove Research Group has found out something else as well. Perhaps Pelosi had an abortion as a teenager. Perhaps someone she knows was involved in a hit-and-run accident and she kept quiet. Who the hell knows?

Well, I have to believe someone knows, or at least someone can make it up. So, until a better explanation is found, I’d like to ask patriotic Americans to post at http://www.afterdowningstreet.org/pelosiphotos what they believe Bush and Cheney have photos of Pelosi doing. And, please, nothing obscene. This is war time after all.

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