April Fools Joke Reveals Something Serious

I sent around this Email on April Fools Day and it generated heated discussions as to whether it was real. Many people assumed it was real and reacted with anger toward Congress. Of course, much of it is certainly much closer to reality than general understanding of things is. I apologize to the Guardian and the fictional author named below. –DS

——– Original Message ——–

Democrats’ New War Strategy Revealed
Exclusive Memo drafted by White House Chief of Staff
Karen Plateau
guardian.co.uk, Wednesday 31 March 2010 19.50 BST
Article history

A memo drafted last week by White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel
recommends a shift in strategy for Democrats discussing wars and the
military. Emmanuel urges Democrats to claim credit for the wars in
Afghanistan and Iraq, and points out that shortly before this November’s
congressional elections, Democratic congresses will have funded and
overseen more of the Iraq War than Republicans.

Some excerpts from the memo, addressed to Democratic members of
Congress, follow:

“Democratic presidents, historically, have engaged in war more than
Republicans, and yet we have always been denied the credit. Only by
claiming ownership of the current wars can we take away Republicans’
advantage on national security. The Republicans will not argue that
wars make us less secure even if the wars belong to Democrats. They
will cheer for the wars even if the wars belong to us. But no one will
cheer for us if we speak about wars as activities we engage in with
reluctance. . . .”

“It’s the economy, stupid. Weapons production is our leading industry
and needs to be discussed in terms of job creation and economic
stimulus. . . .”

“Think ahead. By 2012 the permanence of the Iraq and Afghanistan
occupations will be unavoidable. This cannot be made to appear a
failure or a deception. It must be owned and claimed as a success, a
glorious success critical to our national security, and one that former
president Bush recklessly opposed by agreeing to a complete retreat
from Iraq by 2011. . . .”

“It is critical that we draw comparisons between the number of soldiers
killed during Democratic years and the number killed during Republican
years, and that we highlight the successes of our innovative use of
unmanned drones to kill the enemy without Americans having to die. We
must cease shying away from claiming victory in terms of the numbers of
enemies killed in war. We must also claim credit for the glory of those
Americans killed during our years. . . .”

“There is no funding to be raised by talking about peace. The largest
peace organizations did not shut down when Iraq was invaded or when Bush
signed his treasonous treaty with Maliki. They shut down in November
2008 because President Obama had been elected. If President Obama tells
the remnants of the peace movement to jump, they will ask ‘How high?’

“The Progressive Caucus is completely under control, and its leaders
understand that by passing healthcare we have created the understanding
that we want to care for people at home, but that we absolutely must
establish our willingness and enthusiasm to do what needs to be done

Asked for a response to Emmanuel’s memo, Michael Steele, chairman of the
Republican National Committee, said “The role of Republicans and of
President Bush in beginning these wars will never be forgotten. We were
piling up body bags when Barrack Hussein Obama was giving speeches at
antiwar rallies. The only people who will fall for this latest White
House spin live on the coasts, so if you believe in global warming this
debating may be irrelevant.”

House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer said, “Democrats’ enthusiasm for war
is a central element of our plan to create jobs and stimulate the economy. We
are working on a program to create tens of thousands of permanent jobs
in Iraq, in Afghanistan, and in a number of other nations.”

David Swanson is the author of the new book “Daybreak: Undoing the Imperial Presidency and Forming a More Perfect Union” by Seven Stories Press. You can order it and find out when tour will be in your town: https://davidswanson.org/book.

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