60 Thousand Pentagon Spies Tripping Over Their Fake Clown Shoes

Of course there are 60,000 Pentagon super (duper!) spies prancing around the globe with tracking devices in their shoes, goofy wigs on their heads, collections of comical sunglasses, and — for the employee of the month! — silicon handsleeves and silicon faces to fool the airport cops, or maybe it’s the Vaccine Nazis, or perhaps it’s the Marxist conspiracy and election stealers denounced by the head of the Space Command who was fired last week for straying from his designated delusions.

After all, this is the military that produced 120 retired generals openly proud of their batshit balminess. When you dump $900 million dollars unbeknownst to anybody into 130 private companies listed absolutely nowhere to get 60,000 undercover clowns employed at household-name corporations that even the author of the article linked above doesn’t name a single one of, who is to say what will happen?

I am.

Horrible things will happen.

Crime and corruption and viciousness live in the dark — including the dark recesses of the lawless rulebasedorder.  The U.S. military openly and steadily and relentlessly claims that despite spending just about as much as the rest of the world’s militaries combined — most of them being allies, “aid” recipients, and weapons customers — it is in mortal peril.

How can this be?

Well, of course it’s ridiculous nonsense, but it’s made more plausible by the incredible expenditure of unaccountable funds on crap patently dumber than giving LSD to Ken Kesey but without the musical side benefits. That the Pentagon has never been audited is not an accident. And the problem is not merely that the F-35s could kill Gazans more efficiently if there had been a free-market bidding process. The problem is that nobody knows what is being done, and therefore we all know atrocities are being committed.

Yes, yes, the United States must refuse the world’s demands for a ban on cyber war and invest heavily in cyber war if it is to provoke any — you know — cyber war. Yes, military families are put at risk by stationing them on bases in everybody else’s countries while treating the world with violent contempt, and — as it would be crazy to close the damn bases — their identities must be protected with updated kits your grandpa got in the mail when he was nine.

But the result of all this is not just bad humor, and not just propagandizing the Indispensable Nation along with all the other ones. The result is a breakdown in the rule of actual laws, in trust and good faith. The result is sabotage and election interference. The result is coups and assassinations, abuse and imprisonments.

So, next time your Congress Critter demands that you blindly support all wars for your sainted troops, tell that slimy invertebrate of a misrepresentative that you could love the troops better if he or she would tell you who the fuck they are and what in the name of fascist democracy spreading they are doing with your money under the flag your brain was conditioned at a young age to thoughtlessly obey.

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