Barack Obama Told the Nation (Sorry, Tom Paxton)

I got a letter from B.H.O.
It said you’d better pack and go.
It’s time to let the Army make your plans.
Though it may seem very queer,
We’ve got no jobs to give you here,
So we’re gonna send you to Afghanistan.

Barack Obama told the nation,
“Have no fear of escalation.
I am trying everyone to please.
Though it isn’t really war,
We’re sending thirty thousand more,
To save Afghanistan from the Afghanis.”

I jumped off the old troop plane,
And though I’m not one to complain,
I cussed until the captain called me down.
Never mind just who we’re training,
Think of all the ground we’re gaining,
Just don’t take one step outside of town.

Barack Obama told the nation,
“Have no fear of escalation.
I am trying everyone to please.
Though it isn’t really war,
We’re sending thirty thousand more,
To save Afghanistan from the Afghanis.”

Every night the local gentry,
Sneak out past the sleeping sentry.
They go out to join the Taleban.
In their nightly little actions,
They derive all satisfactions,
From shooting at me any way they can.

Barack Obama told the nation,
“Have no fear of escalation.
I am trying everyone to please.
Though it isn’t really war,
We’re sending thirty thousand more,
To save Afghanistan from the Afghanis.”

We fly drones and helicopters,
Like a bunch of big grasshoppers,
Searching for Al Qaeda troops in vain.
They left a note that they had gone.
They had to be away at dawn,
Their necks and their posteriors to maintain.

Barack Obama told the nation,
“Have no fear of escalation.
I am trying everyone to please.
Though it isn’t really war,
We’re sending thirty thousand more,
To save Afghanistan from the Afghanis.”

Now here I lie in an Army clinic
Trying not to be a cynic
And I know Obama’s ways are strange.
Yet how sadly I remember,
Way back yonder in November,
When he said he’d give us hope and change.

Barack Obama told the nation,
“Have no fear of escalation.
I am trying everyone to please.
Though it isn’t really war,
We’re sending thirty thousand more,
To save Afghanistan from the Afghanis.”

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